Discover how to ACE Your Life

Show Transcript

Hello, everyone. This is your host, Keri Logan at Master of the Upper Rooms. And today I have an extremely special guest. I'm, as you all know, I strive to find information about mental health and how to help people live a better life and be the best version of themselves. Literally be your authentic self, live a life that you love. And Michelle is amazing. So amazing. So amazing. She has, and this is going to be on YouTube. This is her book, Ace Your Life. She has helped so many people transform their lives and even their professional lives. And she has supported them in living the best life that they can possibly live. And I'm going to just say right now, as a mental health professional, this is the best book that I have found for this whole year of 

2024. I think it's just phenomenal. It's like a little mini therapist in this book. All right. And so if anyone that's listening to this or watching this has thought about going to therapy or counseling, it is afraid or apprehensive because it's admitting that you're imperfect. It's admitting that I need help. And so if you find yourself in this situation, there's so many solutions and resources and tools in here. to just get you started and thinking outside the box and finding hope and options. Okay. So before I just blab on about this fabulous woman, Michelle, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. I so appreciate everything you had to say about the book. You know, it means a lot to me that you feel that way, of course. And that's really what I try to do is just really help people understand 

I want, as you were talking, I have to mention this. Cause I had, I had a patient come in yesterday and it really speaks to what you just said. He, he actually, he was a child, you know, middle school and, you know, he unfortunately acted out and physically towards somebody else. And then obviously it was reprimanded and had consequences and all of that. And he's, just like an incredible child, you know, but he does have impulse control challenges, you know? And, you know, we were talking about, you know, he told me about the incident, obviously. And then we were talking about like, okay, you know, what do you want to do about this? So I said to him, I looked at him and I said to him, do you really want to change this about yourself? Do you want to work on this with me? And he looked at me and he was kind of surprised by my question, right? Because he's coming to see me. 

So it's kind of obvious, like, why would he want to come see me? But I know why I asked the question. And what answer did I get? He said to me, not really. And I said, Oh, interesting. Why do you think that is? Right? Because it's not that he consciously doesn't want to work on it, because he is suffering because of this behavior, because people are misunderstanding him. He can't go, you know, he again, he He has time where he goes out in terms of being outdoors with the other kids. He's punished for two weeks, reprimanded. He's kind of suffering with shame. Why would he not want to change this about himself? Like why, right? And again, this sounds like a really strange question for me to ask him. And I said to him, why do you think that is? Why do you think your brain is telling you not to change this? And he looked at me and he said, I don't know. I said, is it possible that there's a part of you, 

that doesn't want to accept this about yourself. And if you actually work on it, that you have to see yourself and accept that there's a part of you that's impulsive and is feeling quite maybe shameful, embarrassed. And he started talking to me, but his eyes welled up in tears. Yeah, he didn't want me to see, obviously, because he was kind of shameful. So I kind of, you know, I was just kind of talking to him. But that's what happens. I mean, that happens as the reason I'm bringing it up is this is a child where things developmentally, he can't really be in touch with his feelings because it's a little sophisticated for him. And it's so subconscious, but I knew, I knew what's keeping him from really investing in himself. And once I put it out there and it was such an incredible thing to watch, there was a transformation that happened like right in my office. He was like, 

little bit more open a little bit more friendly he was like joking around with me like there was this lightness to kind of our interaction after that because i gave him permission for his stuckness and understanding that our brain just works against us all the time well and you also gave him radical acceptance. Yeah. And there's a reason why that part was developed. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's the hard thing. A lot of people don't realize about parts that always has a positive underlying intent and it does appear like self-sabotage, but it's really not self-sabotage. Yeah. Right. I always say that our brain is wired right to actually it's wired to protect us from danger, from danger and discomfort. And it takes its job to, 

seriously. It's our executive protector, you know? And it really, again, it takes its job seriously and it will go to all different lengths, even, you know, ones that don't serve us well in order to fulfill this role, you know? So we can't sometimes, as much as we think, oh, we have this brain we need to listen to all the time, we need to pay attention to, right? Whatever it says, like the thought is fact. No. There's a lot that goes into our neurobiology and our physiology, you know, our environment, our genetics, and I could go on and on, you know, that impacts on the way we think and feel. So we can't really take that at face value. We really have to kind of understand more of our subconscious. We have to understand, you know, that role that is actually the impetus for the direction that we take. 

want to you know that that we kind of think about that we want to behave. And the only thing we have control over is our behavior. We do not have control over our thoughts and feelings. And that is like one of the most important things to know it is and and well that's in some area, I have to say in that i can i ha i can agree to disagree. Because I like, and why I say that is with what I teach and master the upper rooms is I've been able to see someone stuck in 3d human consciousness and figure out what their set point is. And I know how to talk them to get them up to courage. And that's the first step of 4D human consciousness and where they can be permitting and flexible and feasible to look outside the box. 

And then I get them where they can be satisfied and content and make peace with maybe their situation or look at the other person from a different perspective, a different light. So they're not much of a villain to realize that they've had hardships, too. And that a lot of times, like as we discussed before I hit record, some of these we call villains or monsters are our greatest teachers. They are our life teachers. And when we can see them from a different perspective and accept them for who they are, because I say we can love a person, but not like them, you know, and, and see, and see their flaws and be like, and see our flaws. And, and so for, for, and. So just to, can I just, so just to clarify, I think we're saying the same thing. 

Yeah. Yeah. I think I think we're just coming from a different angle. So I think what you're saying, because I think I'm saying the same thing, is that we do have the ability to kind of change mindset. Yes. We do have the ability to integrate flexibility. Yes. Yes. So like a question that I always, you know, kind of default to and I have my, you know, my patients kind of think about is how else can I see this? Yes. Like your thoughts and feelings are dictating a certain perspective and a certain filter, right? But when you ask yourself certain questions, then you could be more expansive and less rigid and unidimensional, you know, because we are multidimensional, but sometimes we get kind of stuck in a position. So we are saying the same thing. From my perspective, there are times... 

that we do have very self-defeating, self-destructive, self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings that can impact our behavior. And that comes from that place of safety and protection. And that's at a place where we really do have to process and expand and be more flexible and think about our mindset and a lot of other things. So it is really the same thing. I think when you teach, you know, whatever it is, whatever method it is, you know, it's allowing somebody to see the full picture, the broad spectrum, right? It's taking the blinders off. That's right. And opening, really opening yourself off. Like I do a lot of metaphor work. Like I did a Ted talk, which is called circumventing emotional avoidance, which is the preface actually for my book. But just the metaphor, you know, when people are feeling kind of rigid and we feel it somatically in our bodies, sometimes our face gets rad. We feel like a 

Like I know for me, I get like this really heavy weighted chest, you know, when I'm feeling anxious or frustrated or whatever, you know, and I feel the surge usually of frustration, you know, that kind of comes through me. And I know when I'm like that, and sometimes I'll catch myself clenching my fists, which is fascinating because I'm like, whoa, like look at the position I'm in, my body language. So I will like actually open up, you know, my palms and I'll go like this. And just that nature of like, you know, which is the metaphor of opening yourself up. Like I literally feel my lungs opening up my breath, you know, taking a deeper breath, my body relaxing, you know, my chest getting kind of less tension. So we could do all these things and that changes our mindset. It changes our physiology. You know, there's a lot of research now on polyvagal theory, you know? Yeah. And there's a lot of neurobiology, you know, 

and a lot of things that we didn't know before, because we have this, all this advanced technology, like these things actually change our physiology, which is totally mind blowing. If you think about it, we didn't even know this in the past. So it takes a lot of practice. I always say like our neural networks get formed from our childhood and it's very fixated. It gets very fixated and we can change that. We know that from MRIs, we can actually change it. So putting time and effort and energy and intentional effort helps to make that transformation. And we all have the ability to do that, which is incredible. Well, that's why I say self-awareness is so important because without you being self-aware of you, you're clenching your fists. You wouldn't have had that opportunity to be like, Hey, my body saying something else. And this is, and, and then honoring that, 

your feelings and what your body was saying, instead of getting mad at yourself and beating yourself up or criticizing yourself, like saying, God, I'm so stupid for being this way, you know, or feeling this way, you owned it, you accepted it and you, you utilized it. And I did want to say about the, the patient you were just talking about, the gentleman, I think what helped him in that whole transition of you, realizing himself and how his brain works is you let him be himself without judgment. Yeah. And you allowed him to be vulnerable in a way that he's probably never been allowed before because there could be ridicule or criticism or shoulda, woulda, you know, you must do this. And you were just like, dude, no, this is, 

This is a safe space. And let's look at yourself and learn from yourself. Yeah, it's a safe space and you're okay as you are. Yeah, I mean, that's the other piece of it, which is the self-acceptance piece, right? And interestingly enough, in the same session, just so you know, on the tail end of it, because that happened like last week or two weeks ago, I should say, in the same vein, he misgendered somebody at school. And again, like it came from complete like misunderstanding and confusion and like, you know, the poor kid and the assistant principal spoke to him and then the teacher spoke to him and it was a whole, you know, and he looked at me and he was so sad because he said, God, they're so misunderstanding me. Like, I didn't mean to do that. And I would never hurt anybody. And he's like the sweetest kid, like literally the sweetest kid. And I said, okay, well, the beautiful thing is we could repair relationships. How do we do that? 

But I could hear the disappointment of like being misunderstood. That's really disappointing, of course. So we were talking about like, what could you do? What are your options? And that's what happens. People don't realize they have options. They feel so disconnected. They feel so shut down. They feel so repressed and then they feel helpless and then they don't do anything. And then it perpetuates the behavior, the thinking. So I said to him, I said, why don't we role play? you know, how you would go about doing that. And one thing that I noticed when he was role-playing, which of course happens, he couldn't, you know, the body language, he couldn't make eye contact because of his shame. Yes, shame. And I said, and shame, and you know how shame is, right? Like guilt is, you know, I did something wrong, you know, I did something wrong and shame is I am wrong, right? So I said to him like, oh, I want to give you a little feedback. I said, okay. And, you know, I said to him like, 

It's really helpful when you, especially repairing relationships and having interactions with other people, to have that, even though it's uncomfortable. Let's try that. Again, all of it is about learning to connect to yourself in a way that, again, signifies your confidence, your dignity, your self-worth. I always tell people, and I love this because it works so well, if you are worthy, if you had self-worth, how would you be behaving? Right? Yeah. Yeah. And that goes in regards to your interactions with others, in regards to your health, in regards to, yeah, I mean, it runs the gamut, right? And some people could say, I don't know. Oh, yeah. They've never felt worthy or believed I could be worthy because of all the messages they received growing up. 

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's not only it's, it's the messages, you know, both from our parents and our caregivers and it's also from society. Yeah. Teachers and, you know, socioculturally and I could go on and on. Like there's so many messages out there that we receive that. And sometimes we're not even aware of it. You know, we're not aware of how things impacted us over the years. Yeah. So the way I kind of like to describe, I love metaphors too, is think about it as you walk outside and there's all these seeds blowing everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. And we're the ones that grab the seeds and we're the ones that water them. And we're the ones that let them take root and grow. But then we also have the ability to stop and look at our mental garden and examine how many weeds do I have? What, what, what am I, what, 

today can I pluck out and what can I plant in, in, you know, in a positive one that will make me feel better about myself or give me peace of mind or just something that could grow that there's appreciation towards. Connect me to my purpose. You know, there's so many, yeah, there's so many. And you know, what you're describing is I think really focused around values, you know, which I really write a lot about, you know, once, once you're grounded in your values and you have a really, really keen grasp of what those are and you're able to define them and really think about the actions that you're going to take on a daily basis, there is a guide to action. Like you don't even have to think twice about it. You know how you want to be behaving. It just comes to you because you're always formatively that's always in the back of your mind. 

And I really, it's interesting personally, so I'll share something. I have this relationship and I have to think about how I want to handle it. And I've been handling it with kindness, kindness, kindness, because that's who I am and thoughtfulness. And it's gotten to a point, I just decided this and it was very clear to me because when I have a conflict in values, I really think about the opposing values. And now it's a matter of dignity. versus kindness. And now I have to make the decision that dignity supersedes kindness in this situation. Right. Because they're both so incredibly important to me, and every circumstance is going to be different. But I don't beat myself up and say to myself, I'm such an unkind person, because, you know, I'm creating distance and setting boundaries and whatever. No, I say, I am a kind person, because I'm being kind to myself. And I'm 

really considering my needs and my dignity and self-worth. You know, so yes, I'm going to feel badly and I'm going to feel sad. I'm going to feel disappointed because it may inadvertently, you know, disappoint the other person or hurt them. That isn't my intention, of course. But the result of me leaning into my dignity and leaning into my self kind of compassion and kindness may result in that. You know, so, yeah, we're always negotiating. We're always contemplating. You know, we're always decision making and problem solving and strategizing. And when you're really grounded in who you are and the life you want to be living, there's a roadmap. There's like actually a roadmap. You don't have to think twice about it. You know, you're 100 percent correct, because when I was talking to my husband about values and I shared with him the part that. 

you shared the story of a lady and their parenting values. Oh, I am huge in parenting values. I am a mama bear and I'm fierce. And it was really hard for me to co-parent with a covert narcissist. So hard because it's like, I take everything so importantly. You cannot shame parent a child, all of that stuff. But him, it was... He parented the way that he was parented and it and it didn't serve, you know, our child well. And the way I had to kind of express this to our kiddo is think about an adult having a toolbox. Well, I have certain tools in my box and your dad has certain tools in his box and they don't match up. And you know which one of our tools works best for you and which ones don't. 

So instead of hating him or being mad or disappointed at him, just look at it as he hasn't acquired that tool yet. And he's doing the best that he possibly can with the tools that he's got. So it's trying to teach him compassion and self-acceptance towards his father. But then it also gave me grace because when I have to deal with that person, And they do something that goes against my values. I just have to remind myself, no, this is a value of yours that isn't in his toolbox. Yeah. And another one I told my husband is one of my big values is morals, ethics, and integrity, you know, and there's justice also. And that's the hardest part because I've been in a situation before where I 

there was no justice. And I think you froze right now. What I was saying is I was in a situation where there was no justice. And I had to make radical peace with that. That even though we have this justice system that's supposed to support us and protect us, it's flawed. And I had to accept and make peace that, you know, There's things in life that sometimes sucks. And I have no control over it. But all I have control over is me. Yeah. Well, and you know what epitomizes suffering? Wishing things were different. Yeah. That's what epitomizes suffering, right? Because we just spin and spin and spin. And we have this resistance to accepting things the way they are. So that is such deep suffering for many, many, many people. Right. And it's hard because life is full of adversity and full of pain and challenges. Right. And we fight it. We don't want to deal with it. We don't want to deal with the feelings that go along with it. You know, so we're constantly rejecting ourselves, rejecting others, rejecting situations, you know, and when you have that openness and when you actually integrate the sense that 

that you are empowered and you have like all the resources you need to get through whatever comes your way, that's real empowerment. That is where you really have a sense of pure, authentic confidence in yourself. Yes. Yeah. It's true. And I want to say in your book, when you talked about the inner critic, and I loved when you wrote a letter, you wrote a letter to your mind. Oh my God. I loved that part because you are having like this vulnerable, sincere conversation of, you know, you do this to me and this happens in that, but you were just accepting it as, as I don't want to, I don't want to say the word flawed, but just in a way I'm accepting it as it's a work in progress is a better way to put it. It's a work in progress. 

And I loved the vulnerability that you had. Oh, when you talked about your nephew, right before he was 16, and your friend that's struggling with cancer, you know, there's all these thoughts that go on in our head and how we handle grief. And like, did I do enough? Was I enough? Should I have done more? Or I must have done, you know, do this. All those questions that we have in our mind. I mean, it was... But the beauty is, and unfortunately, you know, I had a friend this week who died of cancer. Well, I have a friend whose sister is currently, you know, has cancer. And then I have another friend. I went to a funeral this week because my other friend, you know, died. Yeah, we're always, we're always, always, I mean... 

the beauty of connecting to your values is that it's less likely that you're going to be stuck in that regret. Yeah. You know, so I, I made it a point, you know, and I'm friendly with, you know, her, my friend and also her husband and her husband is the one who died, but they were both equally my friend. And I actually met him first and I was, you know, friendly with him before I was friendly with her. But I made it my business to like check up on her and support her. And I made it my business to, you know, you know, spend time with her, you know, while she was caretaking for her husband and who was my friend. And, and I, and I, and I'm making it my business to like reach out to her, you know, try to send her these like beautiful letters, you know, texts, you know, saying like, just be how you are. You don't have to be anything, you know, and you know, now it's, it's going to be 

even harder, because you're, you know, alone, and that's okay, you know, and I'm here, even at three o'clock in the morning, or whatever the case is, but I could walk away feeling that I'm connecting to her, and that I, in some ways, like, you know, I'm expressing it, I'm putting it out there, I'm not hiding it, I'm not avoiding it, even though it's uncomfortable, because it is, you know, because, you know, what goes through our mind is like, am I going to say something wrong? Or am I going to say something that's going to be worse? Or, yeah, like we don't do things because we're afraid and we're worried about the impact. But you could say, and I even said to her, I said, I'm not sure how much or how little to reach out to you. I don't want to overwhelm you. I know that you have your family and everything else. And I said, please, if you're fine that you want space or whatever, like, I am okay to hear that. Like, let me know. 

You know, like you could say that you could put it out there. But you have to be, again, connected to yourself to be able to hear that. Right. Yeah. And not slighted or feel insulted or feel whatever, you know, when that happens. But again, it's always in my mind. It's the thoughtfulness. Like I make it my business to make people feel special, to make people feel attuned to, to make people feel, you know, valued because I want them. that is so important to me in my relationships. And there's nothing I would want more than to make somebody feel like that they could be connected to themselves, you know, in a moment when it's so painful and difficult. So, you know, the book is really a roadmap. Yeah, I started by talking about like our brain and our physiology, because I think it is so incredibly important to understand that. And I think, I hope I've conveyed this, 

But what I try to do when I write is I try to give some evidence as well, you know, research to kind of as a basis of my points. And then I, of course, have my own creativity and, you know, lend to the material. So it's dulled down, so to speak, for people who are not into the physiology and, you know, kind of biomechanism. And then I the second chapter, I talk about our values and I, you know, kind of lead people and guide them on how to extrapolate your values and how to do a formal values review, what that looks like. And then I break it up into, you know, A stands for acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. So we're talking about self-acceptance, which again, people get afraid because they think if I accept myself, I have to accept a life of mediocrity. And we're not talking about that. We're talking about people thriving. So the acceptance is really prefaced on noticing, right? 

Once you're able to notice, then you kind of take it from there. And I give all different kinds, like the first part of each chapter, I talk about the barriers. What gets in the way of acceptance? What gets in the way of self-compassion? What gets in the way of empowerment? And then I talk about how to integrate it. And I give, you know, some skills and tools with like worksheets and other things. And then I end off each chapter with a guided meditation with a QR code, you know, if you want to listen, because I feel like it's a really nice way to integrate the information. And I also... I have a YouTube channel. I record and publish guided meditations every Thursday morning. Today, actually, the guided meditation is on resilience and inner strength. Nice. Yeah, yeah. So it's so important to take that time. And again, when I say, what would you be doing if you had self-worth? Right. You would take the time for self-care. You would take the time to stretch. You would take the time to 

to challenge yourself. You would take the time to build on your interpersonal relationships and whether it's professional or personal skills, right? That's, that's what you'd be doing. And you wouldn't make rationalizations or excuses for it. Like I don't have the time or I don't know how to do it or whatever. So, you know, each one goes through the barriers and also how to integrate it. And I feel like at points in time, based on our development, based on kind of where we are in life, based on our transitions and, That sometimes we weave in and out of kind of skills and we feel a little bit more vulnerable. So, you know, there's sometimes a point in time where we may feel a little bit vulnerable to our acceptance for whatever reason, because we're going through something really challenging, right? Like midlife, I don't know, right? Or whatever. Or maybe some adversity with our child, you know, where we're not really feeling quite like the best parent at the moment, you know? Or we have some kind of career challenge that comes up, you know? 

There's always something coming up in the course of our lives where we kind of weave in and out. So I always feel like if you're feeling a little vulnerable to one space, you could always just reread the chapter or kind of redo the skills and like, just so it's more formative than that moment, you know? So that's been helpful for me also. Why? I love what you just shared, especially about the meditation part, because with a lot of clients, I tell them that when we have our conversation clicks in your brain, you're getting it consciously. But I want to get it in your subconscious mind because this could have a green light now. It's shifted from red to green, but this is still red back here. And so when you slow down those brainwave patterns and you're listening to something that's reinforcing what you consciously heard, the conscious mind, as you know, is going, yes, yes, yes, yes. And the subconscious hears and it's going, oh, 

that's what you want me to do. because I've been doing ABC. Now you want me to do xyz let me change the operating system. And it's beautiful because i i do that with all my clients too. And people are like, well, why, why do you do that? And that's the logic i i tell people is no, you can con like smokers. They consciously know it's bad for their health. It's killing them. But back here, it's a red light. No, you've taught yourself that habit, that behavior. You're going to smoke. So you need both parts to get it. Well, and it's also changing fundamentally your neural pathways. Yes. Yeah. That's always the goal. You know, I always, I use this kind of metaphor, but you know, if you have this huge meadow, let's say, right. And like all of this land, I don't know, two acres of land and you have a path right through the meadow. If you have people walking through, they're going to naturally take that path. 

Right. Because it looks familiar. It looks comfortable. Like our brain tells us, oh, that's the way to go because there's a path there. Right. They wouldn't think to go on the outskirts to the grass where there's no path. That's what a brain actually does. We repeat patterns of behavior because it's familiar and it's comfortable. Right. And we do it automatically, you know, without any kind of conscious awareness at times. So and even even if it's not healthy behavior. or helpful or productive for us. And we need, in order to actually change those neural pathways, it has to take intentional effort. It doesn't happen any other way. But we have to do it with major intention. And that takes a lot of practice. That takes a lot of... And people get frustrated, right? They give up. My empowerment chapter, which I thought is such an important one, is I find people... 

can change behaviors pretty readily. Actually, that's not the issue. The issue is maintaining and sustaining the behavior. That's the problem that we all have. You know, I do a lot around health and wellness and, you know, I, you know, I do workshops sometimes and I'll ask people like, how many of you have lost weight and right. And everybody's hands go up. And then I'm like, how many of you have sustained it over time? Hands go down, you know, or any kind of habit, like, you know, there's recidivism all the time. with any kind of habit. So it's like the magic isn't like what happens when you fall off the horse? Cause we're going to all fall off the horse. It's like, what do you do that? It doesn't turn from like one week into like five months. Right. That's, that's the magic. You know, how do we get back on the horse? How do we work on ourselves? How do we get kind of re-engaged and really what it has to do with is our confidence. Yes. And our self-confidence. 

I've noticed too a lot of people think that that ability now is outside of them. But I tell them, no, you still have it inside of you. You just need to bring it in closer and activate it within you. It's like I call the circle of power. You see this circle in front of you, and that's the best version of you. Step into it, breathe it, feel it, see it, activate it. And people do have this ability. It's that perception. Absolutely. I mean, you said it so clearly. It is. And again, our mind gets in our way. There's a lot of things that gets in the way. It's about being cognizant of it in the moment, you know, and taking action on behalf of it, and then also practicing for it to be intentional. So there's a lot, you know, to fully be, you know, and, you know, people say to me, like I have, you know, obviously many people reading the book and they say to me, 

oh my gosh, there's like these chalk falls, you know, these little gold nuggets. Like, I don't even know how to remember everything. And, you know, you don't have to remember everything. Like, you know, you take it in pieces and you store it back here, right? And you could remind yourself and reread or kind of, right? Like recalibrate or reground yourself. So there's always ways and there's pitfalls. There's things that are going to trigger us. There's things that can get in the way. There's going to be barriers that happen. And it's really all around stuckness, right? We always have stuckness in our life. Nobody is unscathed and it cuts across all races, religions, socioeconomic status. You know, it doesn't matter where you live. You know, I've done like a lot of podcasts all over the world and everyone could relate to it. Everyone can relate to stuckness. It just looks a little different from person to person, but we can all relate to it. Yeah, no, we all, we all can. And what I loved so much about your book is, 

you do have so many solutions or so many, like you said, gold nuggets. I mean, there's, there's stuff in here where I want to go back and I want to look at again, because I had a whole conversation with someone about self-acceptance and, and, and as you know, doing what I do, sometimes I forget the tools in my toolbox. And then when I read something like this, I'm like, Oh God, That's perfect. I totally forgot about that technique, that approach. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You know, it's it's great because there are there. And that's why I just to let everyone know she's on audible. I don't have time to read books. I listen to I say I read by listening. So when I'm cooking, when I'm cleaning, when I'm doing yard work, I'm I'm taking in all this information. 

And, and so why I bought this was to show my clients, because a lot of people say, well, I can only afford this, or I can only have one session, or I don't have enough time. My schedule is too busy. Well, this here, you can do it at your own pace. You can do it at your own time. And same with the audio book. You know, when I drive in a car, when I drive in my car, I'm listening to an audio book. I'm just, I'm, educating myself. And, and so I know time's a factor. So Michelle, where can people find you all your good stuff? Thank you. So I have, like I said, I have a YouTube channel where I publish a new guided meditation. It's all under my name, Dr. Michelle Meidenberg. And it comes out every Thursday morning at 11am. So that's number one, I have my TED talk, which is called circumventing emotional avoidance. So it's like a 15 minute talk. 

The hardest thing I've ever done, I have to tell you. That was really challenging. My website is the best place because it has all of my information. And again, you know, it's my first name, which is with two L's and Maidenberg is M-A-I-D-E-N-B-E-R-G. The other thing on there is there's a test, a quiz that lets you know where your stuckness lies. So I encourage people to take the quiz and And then the last thing, well, two last things is I'm a blogger for Psychology Today. So I publish articles once a month. It's on all different topics. The last one I published was on nine tips for deeper communication and connection. I'm proud to say it has about 160,000 reads on it so far, which is really exciting. And I'm trying to get up to 2 million reads on like all my blogs. So please read that. 

It's a goal. It's a personal goal. And then last but not least, I have a nonprofit, which is called Through My Eyes, THRU, and it offers free clinically guided videotaping for chronically medically ill individuals who want to leave a video legacy for their children and loved ones. And I am right now in the middle of restructuring. I'm looking for partnerships. I'm looking for anybody who's interested in Yeah. And contributing and no ego. I really just want to continue with my mission. And then I also teach a class at NYU in the spring semester, which is it's a graduate course, integrating mindfulness and clinical practice. Nice. That is me. And I'm a mom, most importantly of four grown children, which I still can't believe that. You know, I was, 

Parenting is is a blessing, but it is also the most challenging, challenging job. Yes, they they know how it keeps us on our toes. Let's put it that way. And it teaches us patience. So much patience. Yes, absolutely. It's a label of love. Yeah, it is. Well, and I'm going to create a blog post. So I'll have all your information and all the links and everything. And again, I am honored and truly blessed to have you here today, Michelle. I just, I thoroughly love, love your book. It is highly recommended. And anyone I work with, I'm, I'm going to recommend for them as well. So kudos. It was so nice talking to you. Yes. All right. And you have a fantastic rest of your day too. Okay. Bye.